Life with twins.

It’s a fluke, I’m sure of it.

But Nathaniel and Charlotte both slept all night in the crib. Well, Nathaniel made it to 6:30 while Charlie was still asleep at 9, but whatever. He made it past two am. All it took was seven ounces of sweet potatoes right before bed.

Jesus, the kid can eat. He’s nine billion miles long, obviously he needs to get longer. Kid is almost as tall as one year old. We’re already at the 98th percentile, roadie. Slow your roll.

Next test: moving from one crib to two. He’s so long that he kicks her all night, even if I put them at separate corners and angle them away from each other. Gotta move on up like George and Weezy. Now if only I had room for another crib.

Best part of this diet?

All the cheese. All the cheese forever.

Any diet that lets me eat cheese is a diet I can live with.

In other news, when I die, they should make me the patron saint of benedryl.

Twin moms!

If you aren’t watching Gravity Falls on disney, you should be. I’m now dead set on raising Mabel and Dipper.

Oh!

I’ve lost sixteen lbs. So there is that. Huzzah keto and never having time to eat.

My day just got cut in half.

The twins have sort of settled into a routine. 

Nathaniel crashes by nine, and will not stay up any later. You can bathe him, poke him, feed him, play with him, promise him ponies, whatever, but he’s going to sleep. Period.

Charlotte refuses to sleep before eleven.

Nathaniel WON’T STOP NIGHT FEEDING.

Our nights run like this: 

9 pm: Nathan falls into a sleeping beauty coma. I go with him.

11 pm: Husband puts Charlotte down. Goes to bed.

11:30: Nathan wants a mouthful of formula. Will scream if not obliged, waking his sister. This process takes about twenty minutes, he eats very little.

Repeat every half hour until Nathan decides to play, usually around two thirty.

2:30: Nathan gets up, Charlotte takes a full feeding and goes back down until NINE.

Nathan stays up until six thirty or so, then naps for a bit.

What pagan god do I pray to to get him on her schedule? I didn’t do a damn thing differently, but she’s turned into a sleep hoarder. This has very little effect on my life, since I have little mister can’t-stop-eating attached via a neurotic mommy clinging cord, but it’s great for my husband.

I’m trying not to be too bitter.

Starting next week I’ll be in online business administration classes, so expect the maniacal sleep deprived laughter to be echoing across the country at any point.

Typing with one finger annoys the piss out of me.

First two days of keto, down almost four lbs.

It’s all carb bloat and water weight loss, but still. Feels good to watch the number drop. I’m excited for the initial large losses, but I’m aware that they’ll plateau out. Really, losing a pound-ish a week is good enough for me. 

Still not really feeling the keto flu, but it’s also shark week, so maybe it’s just lost in the shuffle of other symptoms. 

Starting to get the metallic taste in my mouth, spent a few hours wondering if my molars were bleeding before I figured out it was a keto side effect. 

In random other news, my wisdom teeth have finally jammed their way in and now I can’t close my teeth all the way or open my mouth very far. Joy.

I’m the most boring person ever.

I feel like I don’t do anything anymore. Go to bed around three when my daughter finally stops wiggling/wanting food, wake up around eight when my son decides that sleep is for the birds, then spend the rest of the day repeating the same motions.

I’m stagnating, and it’s driving me crazy. It’s wonderful to see the kids grow into little (frequently pissy) people, but this stay at home mom thing is not my schtick. 

I’m currently registered for online classes, and I’m DYING for them to start, but the damn registration assistant won’t return my calls and I’m stalled in the paperwork process. 

I’ve had TWO job opportunities I’ve had to turn down due to lack of adequate child care, and they’re both gnawing at the back of my brain. I hate not having my own money. It makes me crazy. Unfortunately, at minimum wage, I couldn’t afford to work and pay for day care. It’s a terrible racket they’re running. 

Both kids are growing like weeds. We’re currently fighting a battle with thrush, so neither is particularly happy at the moment. Charlie’s therapy has stalled, her therapist missed one week and then we missed the next due to illness, but she seems to be getting better on her own. Frankly, I’m not terribly worried. She has good head control and only lists when she’s sleepy.

On a more mom-centric note, I’ve started a fairly hardcore diet and will hopefully start working out soon. My husband and I are both going full keto, shooting for fewer than 25g of carbs a day. If you’re not familiar with the diet, it’s worth looking into. Work outs will have to be spaced around babies, Nathan is still ridiculously clingy so I only ever have 20 minutes at a time where he’s happy with someone else. We’ve got to work on this separation anxiety thing.

Sorry, tumblr friends. I’d update more if I had more to say, but I just feel so damned boring anymore. My life has really stalled out. 

Torturing parents 101

So Charlie started her physical therapy this week for her torticollis, which is basically abnormal neck positioning. Her case is laterocollis, where her head tips almost constantly toward her left shoulder. 

All in all, it wasn’t AWFUL, but it wasn’t great either. She wasn’t in a ton of pain but you could tell it was making her uncomfortable. They used a device that sent small pulses into her muscles at the end of the session and she HATED it. It has a sharp tip, not quite a needle but still uncomfortable, and it’s used like acupuncture. She immediately released a lot of the tension in her neck, but it was still hard to watch. Not sure if I’ll be letting them do that procedure again. 

Next week we’re adding Nathan to the mix because they think he might need behavioral therapy. Personally, I don’t think an almost six month old needs any freakin’ therapy, but we’ll give it one session. According to them, he needs to work past the ‘clinging only to mom’ thing. I hate to admit it, but it is getting really hard. I keep thinking he’ll out grow it, but sometimes it almost seems worse. He refuses to be with anyone but me if he’s at all alert, he totally loses it. God forbid someone else try and rock him to sleep, it’s an instant melt down. My gut says it’s from being separated for such a long time following birth and that he just needs me around for comfort more than she does, but what do I know? 

It’s starting to limit my bonding with Charlie, or I wouldn’t even consider putting him into the therapy process. I only get to hold/play with her one on one if he’s asleep, otherwise there are jealous meltdowns. 

Blergh.